6 September 2014

Southern Ontario Skins: A Cast of Stooges Part X

While the lead writer of the ARC Collective is planning on taking a hiatus for a month or so to recharge the batteries on a beach somewhere in Baja soon, it wouldn't seem right to leave when there are still a couple to loose ends to tie up.

Then again, we don't expect this particular loose end to remain tied for very long.

Our readers have been following a series that we lovingly refer to as the "cast of stooges" where we provide a running account of some of the misadventures of the Southern Ontario "Skinheads." One of those stooges, Jeremy Crawford, can't seem to help continuing to make a clown out of himself and a fool out of the rest of the SOS, particularly Max "Come at me bro!" Hynes who founded the gang.



In one rather epic and very well read piece on the blog, we posted the email exchanges between ourselves and Crawford who inexplicably believed that we were the SOS or, at the very least, would be willing to help him get in touch with Hynes and then member Brodie Walsh (who later had his own problems one can read herehere, and here). Eventually Crawford figured things out, but not before we were able to string him along for more than a month. Suffice it to say he was a little bit upset.

Now to get an understanding of why Crawford took so long to figure out who we really were, here is a recent example of Crawford thinking:



First, one would think that a prerequisite of running a prison gang like the Aryan Brotherhood would be the ability to spell Aryan. Second, we appreciate his simple logic, if one could refer to this line of thinking as logic: "Black are all criminals who sell drugs. You can trust me because I'm a former federal inmate jailed for selling drugs and possessing illegal weapons."

That being said, we didn't think we would hear from Crawford directly anymore. He's dumb as a brick, but even he knows when to quit, right?

Right?

ALL U GUYS GOT IS YOUR MOUTHS YOUR TELEPHONE TOUGH GUYS IF YOU WERE TO RUN INTO ONE OF US YOU'D BE BACK PEDDLING AND DOING ANYTHING TO SAVE YOUR OWN ASS.

Oh Jeremy Crawford. You are just a national treasure!


Yes, Crawford posted not one but two rambling messages to the blog on September 3 (in addition to the occasional email message we still receive from his virus-infected email account). And both messages are, in a word, glorious:



There is SO much we could do with this message. However, we figure that this might suffice as a response for now:


The second message was posted 23 minutes after the first:



Stop making fun of the SOS? When you, Jeremy, continue to be a goldmine of mirth and amusement for us and for our readers? 

Come on! Even you aren't dumb enough to believe that is going to happen!

16 comments:

Keep doing stuff Jeremy! said...

What a firecracker he is! All lit up, and ready to type in all caps. That's how you know he's tough. Real tough, not just "on the telephone" tough. So, yeah. In conclusion, don't fuck with Jeremy Crawford, because he's covered in white power tats. I especially like the "Raver" one. What MC does that one belong too?

Anonymous said...

I really hope this continues to be a thing, their stupidity and moronic antics bring me great amusement. Will any of them ever realize that the whole knuckle-dragging, hood mentality shit is not exactly the best way to tout yourselves as the "master race"? Bragging about being a criminal and being in and out of prison? And with an elementary (at best) level of education to boot?Wow, such a shining example you are.

Anonymous said...

Being an ex violent right wing extremist myself I sure get a kick outta reading about the SOS,I've always enjoyed reading arc even when it was me you made fun of.whoever the author is for arc has a great sense of humor!these guys are gun toting hip gangster wannabes,drug dealing ex cons.the exact kind of people the " movement " was supposed to be against but that's all it will ever consist of.what a contradiction.the pic in part IX the aftermath looks like the cast of jersey shore shaved their heads and put on some red braces,or maybe just some white boys who got a little crazy with the spray tan! I made a lot of mistakes in my past and live a normal life now free of hate but seeing that pic makes me even more grateful that I'm no longer a part of it hahaha thanks SOS for being a constant reminder!

Anonymous said...

Well..don't imagine he'll be out enjoying his freedom for long. Writing it on the wall.
Unfortunately you know an innocent person is going to get hurt in his effort to "prove" himself.

Anonymous said...

Well S.O.S. seems to be shaping up lol. At least he didn't threaten to call the cops this time.

Anonymous said...

"I especially like the "Raver" one."

Me, too! Are those dots around it supposed to be ecstasy pills? lol

Anonymous said...

I think you guys should have some sort of competition for best demotivational poster featuring S.O.S.

Anonymous said...

As Bugs Bunny once said so eloquently..."what a maroon!!!" Thanks, Jeremy! It's ass-hats like you that keep giving white antis like me the ammunition to keep on successfully turning white kids away from folks like SOS. Please keep up the great work! You're doing a better job at destroying your sacred "master race" than anyone I know!!

Anonymous said...

My favourite thing about Jeremy is that (for all intents and purposes) he "dresses black", baggy ass jeans and a neon green ecko shirt, he wouldn't know skinhead if one hit him in the face, which may or may not happen soon, "HAY HOOS THAT PREPPY IN THAT POE-LOW SHERT! SKINHEADS WARE ECKO AND SHADY AND LISSEN TO REAL SKINHED MOOZIK LIKE THAT BAND THAT WAS MAYDE UP FOR THE DOCUMENTARY ROMPERSTOMPER THATS REEL LEIF! SOS WPWW SWTOR WWE OHIP POTUSA RAMALAMADINGDONG!!!!"

Anonymous said...

I think this guy has a mental problem.No way a person can be this stupid.

Anonymous said...

best series ever. seriously. i get giddy when there's a new part to the sos stooges. it's like some kind of horrible soap opera. keep it up boys!

Romper Stomper Bomper Boo said...

D'awwwwwww. The SOS has their own lil' John Marleau, all dumb n' stupid-like. I look forward to the revelation that he's actually half Native.

Anonymous said...

Where are all his white power tats?? I've only seen a celtic cross on him. Or is that "RAVER" tat supposed to be white power? I can't believe the AB would let a prat like this run one of their crews. I wonder what they would do if he got sent back inside and they heard about all the lies he's been spewing. I mean, he ran an AB crew but has no AB tats?

Anonymous said...

He looks like one of those dudes from that late 90s band, Crazy Town.

Anonymous said...

Nothing says "white power" like hip hop clothing and junkie tattoos

Anonymous said...

Every time I see another SOS post it reminds me of the old 90's TV show Goof Troop.

Report to the Goof Troop!