Third Annual Dead Nazi Day

We`re keeping it simple this year, though if any of our readers wish to share how they decided to spend, `Dead Nazi Day" we would love to hear about it.

In the meantime, news that has sent the boneheads into an apoplectic rage:

We Can't Believe We Missed Dead Nazi Day!

We've been a bit preoccupied, but we would be remiss if we didn't acknowledge the passing of ole' Ruddy Hess.

Then again, we are also basically lazy people, so here's how we made fun of him last year.

Ya, you're right. We'll do better next time.

Nazi (Not Neo) Jailed For Hate Crime

Whenever a Jewish synagogue or community center or school or, well, whenever anything connected to the Jewish faith is vandalized, boneheads routinely claim that the Jewish members of the synagogue, etc are really the ones who committed the act in an effort to demonize those poor, unassuming, neo-Nazis and their sympathizers.

So chew on this:

83-year old German war veteran jailed for hate crime
Man wrote anti-Jewish material in various public places in Guelph

May 11, 2010

Thana Dharmarajah

GUELPH — Justice Norman Douglas felt it was morally and legally wrong to sentence an 83-year-old German native who scrawled anti-Semitic graffiti in public spots around the city to anything but a jail sentence to be served within the confines of a prison cell.

“This may be the last opportunity for a Canadian court to look into the eyes of a German military (subject) and state clearly to him what all Canadians think of this type of act that led to the death of six million Jews,” Douglas said Monday, just before delivering Max Mahr’s sentence.

Mahr was sentenced to six months imprisonment for willful promotion of hatred against an identifiable group — Jews. He was arrested and charged on Sept. 30, 2009, in connection with writing hateful remarks against Jews with a black marker in various locations within the city last year from Jan. 2 to Sept. 29. The accused pleaded guilty in March.

The slight, grey-haired man slowly followed court officers as he was led out of the courtroom after the judge sentenced him. His wife watched, seated on a courtroom bench.

Once Mahr is out of jail, he will be on two years probation where he is to take counselling as required and serve 40 hours of community service. Douglas recommended he might volunteer to clean up graffiti in the community.

The judge said Mahr’s wilful promotion of hatred was obvious in the 19 separate occasions that he wrote in public places, such as in washrooms in Stone Road Mall and Wal-Mart, words urging others to kill all members of the Jewish race.

In a pre-sentencing review prepared for the court, Mahr indicated he understood that what he did was wrong and criminal and expressed remorse for his actions. But Douglas said there also appeared in that assessment a suggestion that Mahr saw himself as a victim, since he was initially discriminated against for being German when he arrived in Canada decades ago.

“I believe Hitler was right at the time,” Mahr said in a police interview after his arrest, Douglas told the court. “I didn’t know any better. I was (taught) like that and now I know the difference.”

Douglas wondered aloud however if Mahr truly appreciated the difference.

Last week, when Mahr was initially to be sentenced, defence lawyer Matthew Stanley requested a conditional sentence — known as house arrest — which was identified by the Crown as the best option for Mahr, given the offender’s lack of criminal record and his age. However, assistant Crown attorney Steve Hamilton sought a lengthier sentence than the three months requested by Stanley.

On Monday, Douglas said although he reviewed similar cases in coming to his decision, there weren’t any other cases that involved a man who grew up in Germany, served in the Second World War and committed offences in the present that embraced the mindset that led to the Holocaust.

“As I see the case, the crime wasn’t committed 65 years ago,” he said. “Mr. Mahr has brought this poisonous hatred into the 21st century.”

Every Jewish person alive today is a victim of Mahr’s crime, Douglas said. It isn’t just war veterans that might have an interest in Mahr’s sentence, he said, but every Canadian who values the basic freedom enjoyed as a citizen.

“The accused took advantage of those freedoms,” Douglas said. “He was welcomed after the war. He reaped all the benefits and he breached that trust.”

Bernie Farber, chief executive officer of the Canadian Jewish Congress, said the jail sentence speaks volumes about the importance of ensuring Canadians live in a tolerant society that accepts everyone.

“It takes into account that Canada’s hate laws are serious and will protect vulnerable minorities,” Farber said, adding Douglas delivered a strong message and an absolutely necessary message in the 21st century.

Thana Dharmarajah is a Mercury staff writer. She can be reached at tdharmarajah@guelphmercury.com

We're surprised that Paulie hasn't immediately jumped to Mr. Mahr's defence and accuse the prosecution and media of, "German bashing." In fact, Paulie hasn't made a peep, unlike his vigorous defence of a woman who may very well be designated as a dangerous offender.

Hitler: Dead and Loving It

April 20, 1889 – April 30, 1945

Now, let the fun begin.

Hitler's skull fragment was reportedly used by Stalin as an ashtray.

Okay, even we're a bit embarrassed by that last one.

Come on. It's not as if you didn't think we'd pass this up.

Nazi Fetish Day Part II

Okay, this is a quick one.

Predictably boneheads are celebrating the birth of Adolf Hitler, among them two of our favourite Aryan Guard social misfits:


And to that, we have the following response:


We know. Childish. Beneath us. We should act our age.

But at least we think we're funny.

Nazi Fetish Day

If you're a normal high school student, the idea of "celebrating" 4/20 probably brings to mind sitting in a basement with a few friends, watching old episodes of the Teletubbies, and partaking in certain non-legal pharmaceuticals (don't do drugs kids). But if you're a Nazi fetishist, today is your Christmas, Hanukkah, Kwanzaa, and Laylat al-Qadr all rolled up into one magical day. You see on this day 121 years ago a little boy was born in an obscure Austrian border town to a customs official who's own parentage may have been the result his grandmother's roll in the hay with any number of itinerant male workers (grandma Schicklgruber was girl who knew how to have a good time). That little boy would later go on to fail at school, live as a homeless vagrant in Vienna, create "art" that your own grandmother wouldn't put up beside the velvet Elvis she picked up in Graceland on her last vacation for fear that it looked too tacky, and grow a really, really stupid looking mustache.

We of course are talking about Rollie Fingers:



No, no, of course not. Actually, Hitler was born this day in 1889.

To most of the world, Hitler is one of the most reviled humans to have ever existed. In addition to the Holocaust, his actions ultimately led to the destruction of Germany and that nation's partition between the Western and Soviet blocs for close to 46 years. Hitler did more damage to Germany than any other person as a result of his naked aggression against other Europeans.

Yet, the Nazis love him. No, you don't understand. They loooovvvvvveeeeeee him. A lot. How much? Well, if Hitler somehow appeared before... let's say Kevin Goudreau, we're sure that Goudreau would immediately fall to his knees and offer to perform fellatio. And not because for any sexual gratification. Goudreau would likely believe that Hitler's seed would somehow imbue him with cosmic super powers with which to slay his enemies, fly and time travel. Even people who's ancestors would have been considered untermensch (such as London, Ontario's self described "biggest hater" Tomasz Winnicki) are willing to ignore Hilter's own statements concerning the Slavs and become full on Hitler worshipers.

Today, neo-Nazis, people whom Hilter himself would have sent to the camps for being degenerates, are in the process of celebrating the birth of a man who is directly responsible for the deaths of more than 70 million people. We here at ARC have decided that we too will commemorate the birth of Hitler in the only way we know how.

Derisive, childish, mockery, all of which we can absolutely guarantee will be in extremely bad taste.

We didn't realize that Hitler was such a Brittney fan:



None of us speak German, but we all think we need to watch this movie:



A little Monty Python for the old timers:



Perhaps not exactly in good taste, but as Hitler is being lampooned, we'll add it to the list:



From the great, great Mel Brooks, master of the parody (fun fact: we miss the 1980s):



Finally, you can't mention the name Mel Brooks without also mentioning, "The Producers":



While we celebrate "Dead Nazi Day" on the day that Rudolf Hess ended his miserable existence, we feel that we should make this day an annual event for anti-racists to laugh at the Nazi fetishists.

We Think We May Have Hurt Their Feelings

A few days ago we suggested the celebration of a new holiday we called "Dead Nazi Day" to memorialize the suicide of Rudolph Hess. We thought er might hit a nerve. Oh, you have no idea!

We received a great deal of feedback from boneheads who were, shall we say, displeased with our characterization of the corpse formerly known as Herr Hess. We can't post it all, but we have selected two which sort of reflect the general mood. Evidently, the boneheads believe we've been unfair in our assessment of Hess:

"Wow. You're attitude towards Hess is rather sickening.

Check out his wiki page and get your facts straight..."

But this was nothing compared to a second rant we received:

I understand your requirement, as propagandists, to defame and minimise the actions and, indeed, the lives of your past nemeses; however please refrain from complete fabrications. I say this largely because it only makes your cause look more pathetic to those who already know otherwise.

Firstly, Hess did not hang himself in prison. He was done-in by the prison guards who knew they would never be reprimanded for executing a "war criminal."

Second, Hess was Hitler's respected Right-Hand Man, and it is entirely ludicrous to pass him off as less than such. You are aware, certainly, that it was he himself who the Führer chose to write his words down in a document that would later be known as "Mein Kampf."

Hess was one of the most accomplished pilots of the Luftwaffe and survived incredible odds, including being shot down numerous times, only to by the grace of God survive each without serious injury.

His weak testimony at Nouremburg was not as pathetic as you attempt to portray it; Hess was tortured, beaten, his family threatened, all to obtain a false confession that would put him behind bars for the rest of his life -- despite the fact that he had never killed an innocent person, other than perhaps by bombs that fell from his bomber. Nothing, I should say, that wasn't done tenfold worse by the Allied forces during the same war.

Furthermore, you severely downplay the attempts that Hess made to bring peace and honour to both sides of the war. During his personal mission to Britain -- which you herein touched upon -- he brought with him a message of peace and respect, which was spat upon, and he was beaten and imprisoned illegally.

Your disrespect towards this defamed hero is revolting; surely you rather spit upon the name of Hess than ever acknowledge that a good man may have been your enemy. You wish to remain blisfully ignorant and continue to assume that every living German during the 1940s was evil, sadistic, and inhuman.

Your hatred and defamations will return to you tenfold in times to come, that is a thing of which to be certain.

We can actually picture the person sobbing as he wrote the above post.

"Leave Rudolph ALONE!"

Oh, whoops. Wrong link. Well, we're sure it was close enough to the spirit of the post.

Anyways, the second message makes certain claims. We figured that we would take on the challenge of the first message and use wikipedia to counter the claims:

Firstly, Hess did not hang himself in prison. He was done-in by the prison guards who knew they would never be reprimanded for executing a "war criminal."

This is a claim made by Hess apologists for two decades now. The crux of the main murder claim is that Hess was murdered by the British SAS or MI6 in order to prevent him from releasing damaging information about Churchill:

The British feared, so the theory alleges, that Hess could tell details about his negotiations about peace with them in 1941, which would damage the credibility of Churchill's policy of no peace with the Nazis without unconditional surrender.

Problem with this "theory" is that the British were actually open to releasing Hess and that it was the Soviets who refused to budge, though even that was changing by the time Gorby came to power. But why let the truth get in the way of a good conspiracy theory?

Second, Hess was Hitler's respected Right-Hand Man, and it is entirely ludicrous to pass him off as less than such. You are aware, certainly, that it was he himself who the Führer chose to write his words down in a document that would later be known as "Mein Kampf."

Yep, a glorified stenographer. Very important. Here's how important Hess was in the Nazi Party:

Soon after Hitler assumed dictatorial powers, Hess was named "Deputy Fuhrer." Hess had a privileged position as Hitler's deputy in the early years of the Nazi movement and in the early years of the Third Reich. For instance, he had the power to take "merciless action" against any defendant whom he thought got off too lightly—especially in cases of those found guilty of attacking the party, Hitler or the state. Hess also played a prominent part in the creation of the Nuremberg Laws in 1935. Hitler biographer John Toland described Hess's political insight and abilities as somewhat limited.

However, he was increasingly marginalized throughout the 1930s as foreign policy took greater prominence. The alienation of Hess increased during the early years of the war, as attention and glory were focused on military leaders, along with Göring, Joseph Goebbels and Heinrich Himmler...

And how did Hess' idol feel about his flight to Scotland?

Taken by surprise, Hitler had Hess's staff arrested. Questioning revealed that Hess was not motivated by disloyalty, but had simply cracked under the strain of the war. The official statement from the German government said that Hess had fallen victim to hallucinations brought on by old injuries from the previous war.

"My coming to England in this way is, as I realise, so unusual that nobody will easily understand it. I was confronted by a very hard decision. I do not think I could have arrived at my final choice unless I had continually kept before my eyes the vision of an endless line of children's coffins with weeping mothers behind them, both English and German, and another line of coffins of mothers with mourning children."

—10 June 1941 (from Rudolf Hess: Prisoner of Peace by his wife, Ilse Hess)

Hitler also stripped Hess of all of his party and state offices, and privately ordered him shot on sight if he ever returned to Germany. However, Hitler did grant Hess's wife a pension. Martin Bormann succeeded Hess as deputy under a newly-created title.

Here is our favourite claim:

Hess was one of the most accomplished pilots of the Luftwaffe and survived incredible odds, including being shot down numerous times, only to by the grace of God survive each without serious injury.

This is concerning Hess' service during the First World War. Ladies and gentlemen, let's go to the tapes. Er... Wikipedia:

At the onset of World War I he enlisted in the 7th Bavarian Field Artillery Regiment, became an infantryman, and was awarded the Iron Cross, second class. After numerous injuries, including a chest wound severe enough that he was not allowed to return to the front as an infantryman, he transferred to the Imperial Air Corps (after being rejected once). He then took aeronautical training and served in an operational squadron, Jasta 35b (Bavarian), with the rank of lieutenant, from 16 October, 1918. He had no victories.

Let's look at that again:

After numerous injuries, including a chest wound severe enough that he was not allowed to return to the front as an infantryman, he transferred to the Imperial Air Corps (after being rejected once). He then took aeronautical training and served in an operational squadron, Jasta 35b (Bavarian), with the rank of lieutenant, from 16 October, 1918. He had no victories.

So he was in the Imperial Air Corps for less than a month, as the war all but ended on November 11. And during that time he scored no victories. And according to the poster, he was shot down numerous times.

Wow, ya, that's an impresive record. We think you just shit on the legacy of people like the Red Baron dude.

Furthermore, you severely downplay the attempts that Hess made to bring peace and honour to both sides of the war. During his personal mission to Britain -- which you herein touched upon -- he brought with him a message of peace and respect, which was spat upon, and he was beaten and imprisoned illegally.

Well we've already established that Hitler was pissed off. But how was he treated by his captors?

Hess became increasingly agitated as his conviction grew that he would be murdered. Mealtimes were difficult, since Hess suspected that his food might be poisoned, and the MI6 officers had to exchange their food with his to reassure him. Gradually, their conviction grew that Hess was insane.

And we're not sure how he was illegally imprisoned. He was a high profile member of the Nazi Party and German government who flew into the airspace of a country with whom Germany was currently at war. When captured, he was treated as a prisoner of war.

His weak testimony at Nouremburg was not as pathetic as you attempt to portray it; Hess was tortured, beaten, his family threatened, all to obtain a false confession that would put him behind bars for the rest of his life -- despite the fact that he had never killed an innocent person, other than perhaps by bombs that fell from his bomber. Nothing, I should say, that wasn't done tenfold worse by the Allied forces during the same war.

Sure. Let's go back to Wiki:

Hess was detained by the British for the remainder of the war, for most of the time at Maindiff Court Military Hospital in Abergavenny, Wales, where he would often be taken to the White Castle on Offa's Dyke path. It was rumoured that he was befriended by the local populace. He then became a defendant at the Nuremberg Trials of the International Military Tribunal, where he was found guilty on two of four counts and given a life sentence.

He was declared guilty of "crimes against peace" ("planning and preparation of aggressive war") and "conspiracy" with other German leaders to commit crimes. Hess was found not guilty of "war crimes" or "crimes against humanity."

Some of his last words before the tribunal were, "I do not regret anything." For decades he was addressed only as prisoner number seven. Throughout the investigations prior to trial Hess claimed amnesia, insisting that he had no memory of his role in the Nazi Party. He went on to pretend not to recognise even Hermann Göring — who was as convinced as the psychiatric team that Hess had lost his mind. Hess then addressed the court, several weeks into hearing evidence, to announce that his memory had returned — thereby destroying his defence of diminished responsibility. He later confessed to having enjoyed pulling the wool over the eyes of the investigative psychiatric team.

Hess was considered to be the most mentally unstable of all the defendants. He would be seen talking to himself in court, counting on his fingers, laughing for no obvious reason. Such behaviour was a source of great annoyance to Göring, who made clear his desire to be seated apart from him. The request was denied.

So, what did we write about originally that can be refuted with legitimate sources?

Your disrespect towards this defamed hero is revolting; surely you rather spit upon the name of Hess than ever acknowledge that a good man may have been your enemy.

Naw, we wouldn't want to spit on his name. We'd rather spit on his rotting corpse, but he really isn't worth the purchase of a shovel to dig him up.

You wish to remain blisfully ignorant and continue to assume that every living German during the 1940s was evil, sadistic, and inhuman.

Well you know what happens when you assume, right? There were a number Germans, both men and women, who lived during World War II who deserve a great deal of respect. Dietrich Bonhoeffer, Hermann Sasse, Karl Barth, Hans Scholl, Sophie Scholl and other members of the White Rose, Helmuth James Graf von Moltke, Liselotte Herrmann, Ernst Knaack, Leo Borchard, and a host of others resisted and condemned Hitler and his policies, often at the cost of their own lives. And as at least one of the writers of this blog is of German ancestry, it's sort of hard to accuse us of an anti-German bias.

Dear readers, we believe that this confirms our belief that "Dead Nazi Day" must become an anual event. It has been far too much fun.

"Dead Nazi" Day

Boneheads have a bizarre attachment to Rudolph Hess, a Nazi-era politician whom even his contemporaries within the Nazi Party felt was lacking in terms of intellectual and political talents. Increasingly marginalized within the Party, Hess decided that he would prove his worth to Hitler by flying to the UK to hammer out a peace deal. He failed miserably and spent the remainder of the war in a British prison. At the end of World War II, Hess and other surviving Nazi leaders were put on trial for war crimes. During the trial Hess was noted for his strange behavior and mumbling testimony, so much so that even his co-defendants would make fun of him. He was eventually sentenced to life in prison; he ended his sad, pathetic existence in 1987 when he hung himself in Spandau Prison.

Hmmm, a failure and a loser. We think we know the attraction boneheads feel towards the late Herr Hess. He's like a mirror.

Well today boneheads are commemorating the death of Hess. So should we. As the boneheads have tried to co-opt March 21 (and, in our mind, mostly failed), we feel that this is as good a day as any to make our own (yes, we know that they also celebrate Hitler's birthday, but since most people celebrate 4/20 for very different reasons, we think that the boneheads have already lost that battle).

We then humbly suggest that we rename today, "Dead Nazi Day." Sure, it doesn't exactly roll off the tongue, but until another better suggestion is offered, we like this one.

From last year's Dead Nazi Day festivities:

Anti-Nazi Rally in Germany Ahead of Hess Death Anniversary

The small southern German town of Wunsiedel held a Festival of Democracy Saturday to register its opposition to neo-Nazis who have demonstrated in the town in years past to commemorate Nazi leader Rudolf Hess.

In nearby Warmensteinach, around 2,000 gathered for a more general protest against the far-right National Democratic Party (NPD) and to demonstrate against the sale of a local cafe to the NPD.

From 2001 to 2004, German right-wing extremists gathered in Wunsiedel to mark the day of Hess's death which falls on Aug. 17, until a court ban put a stop to the celebrations. Hess lies buried in the northern Bavarian town.

The Wunsiedel democracy festival was being held for the fourth year in a row to express support for the ban, which the right wing has tried to overturn.

Local police said NPD supporters had largely adhered to the court ban. Three carloads of party supporters had been stopped and told to turn around, a police spokesman said.

After World War II, Hess, who was Hitler's deputy until flying on a mysterious mission to Britain in 1941, received a life sentence at the Nuremberg Trials. He hanged himself at the age of 93 in Spandau prison in Berlin in1987.

And because it is so very, very appropriate:


Happy Dead Nazi Day everyone!